COLEEN NOLAN ON GRIEF: “IT’S OK TO SMILE”

For many of us, the D word has become a no-go area since the pandemic. So many have experienced loss that we worry about saying the wrong thing or putting our foot in it – which appears to be making those grieving feel lost. In reality, those grieving want to spend more time talking about their loved ones.
New data from the Co-op reveals that some 28M of us lost a loved one over the last few years. Sadly, for 48% the death of their loved one was unexpected which we know can have a huge impact on the way we grieve.
As a result, it is perhaps unsurprising that over 16M say that this impacted their mental health negatively. This group 31% will be trying to simply get through each day as best they can.
Sadly, 15% of people who have lost someone say they have been left isolated, bereft, and lonely. Only 6% have sought counselling help – perhaps something which needs to change.
The best tonic to grief appears to be spending time with loved ones and those who knew the lost loved one according to 49%. But we know that when the funeral is complete that attendees and well-wishers start to return to normal lives – as much as they would like to stay.
Many report things like the phone going quiet and feeling that second loss as the reality hits home.
At the same time, 47% say knowing what to do with their loved one’s belongings was one of the hardest things to do – usually done after the funeral. Another impact of ‘life goes on’ with 8% saying they found the ‘everyday things’ after loss almost impossible.
8% keep their loved one’s items because they want a souvenir and a memory of the person – but many saying they aren’t sure what to do with them.
The other big factor for many is what to do with ashes – 35% say they scattered them at a place of significance for the family and 17% have chosen to keep them at home unsure what to do.
Finally, when the Queen died, it made 37% of those who had lost someone look at their grief – perhaps a final act of service from her majesty? She – and the coverage – gave people the time to rethink about their own loss after a turbulent few year many are yet to recover from.

Today, Coleen Nolan who has experienced the loss of both parents her sister Bernie is launching a podcast which reminds us that grief is different for everyone and that we need to get back to talking about it. In the podcast, Coleen speaks to her sister Linda, Debbie McGee on Paul Daniels, Jake Quickenden about the loss of his brother and father, Candice Braithwaite on her Dad and Gary Hollywood on his brother.