“Gaslighting is My Love Language: how I moved on from a relationship steeped in ‘Co-dependent Gaslighting’”

Serious comedic talent… Get ready to become low-key obsessed”
Pure Wow “You can’t help but instantly love Fielding” Huffington Post “a captivating portrayal of a soul in crisis” Variety (for Something-Nothing)
“Edlow’s knack for sardonic zingers is in peak form” Los Angeles Times (for ICU) “BEST OF FRINGE” NYC FRINGE FESTIVAL 2001 (for Coke Free J.A.P.)

What if one day you wake up and you’re like “Uh oh I hate you!” Writer, actress and stand-up Fielding Edlow brings her autobiographical tale of time in a marital sinkhole to the Edinburgh Festival in Gaslighting is My Love Language.

Fielding Edlow is the creator of award-winning, dark comedy web series, Bitter Homes and Gardens starring Fielding Edlow and her (then) husband Larry Clarke (Twin Peaks, For All Mankind, Contagion Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D and Detective Morris LaMotte in twenty episodes of Law & Order). The concept was simple – a fictionalised version of real-life where the couple would lay their exceptionally fractious relationship bare. The Show quicky achieved cult status, wining Best Comedy at the New York City Short Film Festival and receiving rave reviews from LA Weekly and Huffington Post

“Viewers probably haven’t seen a TV couple this antagonistic since Al and Peg Bundy”. T.L. Stanley – The Emmys online reporting of the New York Short Film Festival

But it was in the making of their most successful project to date, as the couple watched these fictionalised versions of themselves warring on screen, that they were forced to admit how real their truly unfiltered on screen dynamic was. And so after two series, the L.A. couple who “turned their endearingly antagonistic relationship into comedy gold” (LA Weekly) had made the catalyst for their separation and had to admit they were in a deeply unhealthy situation. They definitely cared about each other, but their real life interactions had become not just ill-tempered, but toxic.

“seeing the mini & macro gaslighting incidents interwoven throughout – I could not ignore my own web series and how it revealed the toxic unhealthy strains in our marriage”

In her new solo live show, Gaslighting is My Love Language. Fielding uses dark humour and a sharp tongue to reveal how her separation and subsequent divorce has given her a new perspective on her 13-year marriage or “light hostage situation”, unpicking how she and her husband started gaslighting each other from the moment they met in 2006. Each falling into a deeply unhealthy state of what could essentially be coined as “co-dependent Gaslighting”

Larry would often tell his wife, “No man could spend more than an afternoon with you”, and whilst in her rational mind Fielding knew this wasn’t true, hearing it repeatedly left her feeling oddly grateful that Larry was heroic enough to be married to her. But this manipulation and psychological control was by no means one-sided; in a tale reminiscent of Roald Dahl’s The Twits, Fielding exacted her revenge by deliberately shrinking all of Larry’s hoodies and shorts in the dryer to make him think he had gained weight… It worked.

“We were two desperately aspiring, narcissistic, broken people, always ready to go with first strike but can also be easily calmed down with a cheese danish or an acting compliment. We’d say things aloud that most of us would consider a “deal breaker” but we were just getting started.”

HE questioned her critically-acclaimed writing, making her feel that she was just a scatter-brained snack vlogger, SHE poured doubt on his storytelling until a once confident yarn-spinner was stumbling over dinner party conversation. HE withheld sex and told her she was too tired until she believed him. SHE asked, “Hey Larry, why were you the only actor in Contagion who was not asked to do a pandemic PSA on handwashing?” causing him to panic his career was over. Neither was the other’s emergency contact.

But pushing one another to the brink of self-doubt, trying every trick in the book to ‘win’ the relationship makes for great TV, but not such a great life. Now, Fielding and Larry live separately, can stand each other again (in small doses), and are developing Bitter Homes and Gardens Season Three. And yes, they’ll be divorced on the show as well as in real life.
Fielding Edlow is a writer, actor and stand-up comedian based in Los Angeles. She was recently named one of “the six funniest women in Los Angeles right now.” (Pure Wow) Her half-hour special Can’t Say Slut (Comedy Dynamics) is now streaming on Amazon Prime. She voiced the character Roxie on BOJACK HORSEMAN and hosts her own hit monthly show Eat Pray F*ck at the Hollywood Impro.

Edlow’s solo show, Coke-Free J.A.P, was performed in the NYC Fringe Festival (Backstage’s “Best of Fringe award”) and then had a four month, sold-out run in LA at the McCadden Theatre and was subsequently developed as a half-hour comedy pilot at Showtime. Her full-length play, ICU, had a rave-reviewed, extended workshop run at Circle X Theatre and was nominated for an Ovation Award for ‘Best Writing’. Her one-acts have been finalists in the National Ten-Minute Play Contest at Actors Theatre of Louisville and City Theatre in Miami. Her short film, DVR premiered in the Palm Springs Film Festival and won ‘Best Comedy’ in the NYC Short Film Festival.