MAJORITY OF DADS WANT A MORE MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR SON, BUT DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN

A new report has revealed that 63% of dads of 7-11 year olds fear their son will drift away during their teenage years, while 54% admit they want a deeper relationship with their son but don’t know where to begin.
“The ‘Dad Joke’ Effect: How shared laughter keeps pre-teen boys close” from McCain and charity Beyond Equality has shed light on the concerns of dads and father-figures to pre-teen sons, with over half (55%) feeling pressure to raise their son to fit traditional masculine stereotypes. As boys move out of early childhood and into their teenage years, dads report that emotional connection becomes harder as over a third (38%) say their biggest challenge is not spending enough quality one-on-one time together, while 33% admit that encouraging their pre-teen son to talk about his feelings is difficult.
Despite this, many fathers are trying to break generational patterns as over half (59%) say they don’t want to parent in the same way their own dad did, with 42% laughing and playing more with their son than they did with their own father. Only one in five (22%) say openly sharing emotions comes naturally to them and almost a third (30%) admit emotional conversations were not part of their own upbringing.
In the report, the experts at Beyond Equality reveal that boys begin life with a range of emotional expression that’s as wide and flexible as girls1, but during middle childhood they begin to self-police their emotional behaviour. This behaviour, which is influenced by the older men in their lives and in the media and reinforced by the other boys around them2, can mean the playful bond they used to share with their father figure starts to fade as they become teenagers.
Advice from the experts recommends humour as a key tool to keep this father-son connection – and the good news is that 89% of dads already use humour or playfulness to bond with their son at least once a week, with a third (33%) doing so every day.
A new portrait series shot by renowned photographer Rankin brings the power of playfulness to life, featuring dads and sons from around the UK, including TV personality Joe Marler and his son Jasper.
Joe Marler comments, “As my boys get older, I’ve become much more aware that staying close takes a bit more intention, it doesn’t just happen like it used to. Being part of this campaign with my son is something I’m genuinely proud to be involved in.”
For dads who want to share a laugh with their boys, tickets are on sale now for the McCain Comedy Club Night at Hoxton Hall on Wednesday 1st July for a £5 donation to Beyond Equality. The event will be headlined by comedian and parenting podcaster Josh Widdicombe, who comments, “Sometimes the best way to bond is just by having a laugh. It’s simple but true, especially as kids get older and meaningful conversation with them can take a bit more effort. You don’t have to be a comedian (there are already too many of us), just know that the best connections often happen when you’re being silly or not taking yourself too seriously. The McCain Comedy Club is a brilliant way of giving dads and their sons a chance to have some fun together. I’m really happy to be part of something that celebrates that.”
Laura Koscik, Director, Marketing at McCain adds, “At McCain, we champion spending time with your family and, in the current environment, we know it’s more important than ever for sons to be able to bond with their father figures. Us Brits are always up for some banter so what better way to help dads maintain a close relationship with their young boys than through some humour? We hope that “The ‘Dad Joke’ Effect” created in partnership with Beyond Equality will encourage fathers to keep the dad jokes coming to strengthen their family bonds.”
Beyond Equality’s tips for dads to keep their boys close, based on advice from experts**, include:
Making your boy laugh helps keep them close, so don’t retire the dad jokes just yet! Dr Robert Lawson says, “humour shows we don’t always have to take ourselves seriously. It removes that hierarchy, strengthens family ties and boosts creativity and imagination.”
Tell your son that you’ll always be there for him for help, support and guidance, no matter how big or small the problem is.
Remain consistently interested and responsive; not just to what your son does, but how he experiences the world. That will help you make the shift in teenage years from doing things for your son to being alongside him.
Build meaningful connection through small, intentional moments of attention, whether that’s chatting after school, playing cards together or kicking a ball around the park. Professor Anna Tarrant says, “Connection is not necessarily about extra time but ensuring intentional presence within existing time.”
Find something you both enjoy doing together. So much of parenting is chauffeuring to activities, but it’s enriching if you have hobbies you both like doing together. Elliot Rae adds, “Being present, stopping what you’re doing and looking at them shows kids what they say is important.”
Tickets to the McCain Comedy Club on 1st July at Hoxton Hall are available via Eventbrite here [to be shared on 19.05] for a £5* donation to Beyond Equality. To find out more, download “The ‘Dad Joke’ Effect” in full here [to be shared on 19.05].