Mark Watson’s This Can’t Be It Tour begins this September

The events of the past twelve-and-a-bit months, to give them a politely evasive name, have made us all think more regularly about the fragility of life than we probably would have liked to. Nothing focuses the mind than having a ‘daily death toll’ with your late afternoon glass of wine, or a tired-looking government scientist showing graphs and using phrases like ‘we anticipate many, many more fatalities’ in what used to be the ‘Escape To The Country’ slot.

But luckily, neurotic Taskmaster-survivor and author Mark Watson has been stressing about the frightening prospect of death since before it became fashionable. His intended 2020 show – on the cusp of going to Melbourne and Edinburgh festivals, before a typically extensive nationwide tour – was inspired by taking a life expectancy test (there’s an app you can get, if you’re having an existential crisis at 3am) and discovering he could expect to reach 78: in other words, he’s just over halfway to, as it were, the finish line.

What should we be doing with our time on earth, and how can we do it better? Watson has made a lot of strides towards happiness and fulfilment over the past few years. But there’s one problem left: and it really is a big one. The popular but all-too-mortal Radio 4 figure, star of ‘Live At The Apollo’ and House Of Games’ (which he won, but it’s not all about that) wrestles with some of the fundamental questions of life, with unusually high levels of benign audience involvement and the gag rate of an already fast-talking comedian who’s been imprisoned his house for more than a year.

This show has been some time in the making, thanks to all that unpleasantness with the virus. He’s rarely looked forward to anything in his life. All those 41 years of it to date.

Mark Watson had a pretty lively lockdown, as they go. With Tim Key and Alex Horne, he created the game ‘No More Jockeys’ which has now had more than 2 million YouTube views and found a rabid cult audience. He published his most critically acclaimed book to date, ‘Contacts’, and wrote another, non-fiction, title for release this year. He pioneered the Drive And Dine series of outdoor comedy gigs at the depth of the pandemic, and his company, Impatient, were one of the only ones to offer ‘tour shows’ run through Zoom calls, entertaining thousands of ticket-buyers deprived of other live comedy. He also completed a trilogy of 24-hour online shows, raising around £70,000 for charities. In March he curated the only overseas shows to be part of Melbourne International Comedy Festival, as part of their digital programme. For all this, he was one of the winners of Chortle’s Legends Of Lockdown awards, recognising comics who had gone above and beyond to entertain in these extreme times.

Before that, in the old days, the future national treasure had been a multi-award winner here and in Australia (a country we were once allowed to visit); a very familiar voice on Radio 4, where his series ‘Mark Watson Talks About A Bit Of Life’ has been one of the station’s most popular fixtures since 2007; and has most recently been working on a film project with Toni Collette and Studio Canal (while the rights to his graphic novel, ‘Dan And Sam’ remain in the hands of Universal). The live arena, though, is where he’s in his element the most, and this will be an emotional return to the rooms where he has, for almost two decades, established himself as one of the UK’s favourite stand-ups. Emotional, but also funny. See you there.

TOUR DATES:

SEPTEMBER VENUE BOX OFFICE WEBSITE

Friday 10th Trebah Amphitheatre, 01326 252200 trebahgarden.co.uk

Cornwall

Friday 17th Norden Farm, Maidenhead 01628 788997 norden.farm

Saturday 18th Square Chapel, Halifax 01422 349422 squarechapel.co.uk ON SALE SOON

Sunday 19th Chorley Theatre, Chorley 01257 264 362 chorleytheatre.com

Monday 27th Theatre Royal, Winchester 01962 840440 theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk

OCTOBER

Friday 1st The Elgiva, Chesham 01494 582 900 elgiva.com

Sunday 3rd Royal Spa Centre, 01926 334418 warwickdc.gov.uk/royalspacentre/site/index.php

Leamington Spa

Thursday 7th Helmsley Arts Centre, 01439 771700 helmsleyarts.co.uk

Helmsley

Friday 8th Plowright Theatre, 0844 844 0444 scunthorpetheatres.co.uk

Scunthorpe

Saturday 9th The Maltings, 01289 330 999 maltingsberwick.co.uk/default.aspx

Berwick-Upon-Tweed

Sunday 10th The Stand, Newcastle 0191 232 0707 thestand.co.uk/newcastle/

Friday 15th The Y Theatre, Leicester 0116 255 7066 leicesterymca.co.uk/theatre/

Saturday 16th The Savoy Theatre, 01600 772467 monmouth-savoy.co.uk

Monmouth

Sunday 17th Komedia, Bath 01225 489070 komedia.co.uk/bath/

Sunday 24th Swindon Arts Centre, 01793 524481 swindontheatres.co.uk/Online/default.asp

Swindon

NOVEMBER

Tuesday 2nd Tolbooth, Stirling 01786 274000 stirling.gov.uk/tolbooth

Wednesday 3rd The Stand, Edinburgh 0131 558 7272 thestand.co.uk/edinburgh/

Thursday 4th The Stand, Glasgow 0141 212 3389 thestand.co.uk/glasgow/

Friday 12th The Brewhouse, 01283 508100 brewhouse.co.uk

Burton-Upon-Trent

Saturday 13th Festival Drayton Centre, 01630 654444 festivaldraytoncentre.com

Market Drayton

Thursday 18th &

Friday 19th Norwich Playhouse, Norwich 01603 630000 norwichtheatre.org

Saturday 20th Quarterhouse, Folkestone 01303 760 740 creativefolkestone.org.uk/folkestone-quarterhouse/

Saturday 27th Blackheath Halls, London 020 8463 0100 blackheathhalls.com

Sunday 28th Chequer Mead Theatre, 01342 302000 chequermead.org.uk

East Grinstead

DECEMBER

Thursday 2nd The Leadmill, Sheffield 0114 2727 040 leadmill.co.uk

Friday 3rd The Lowry, Salford 0343 208 6000 thelowry.com

Saturday 4th The Dukes, Lancaster 01524 598500 dukeslancaster.org

JANUARY

Friday 21st Artsdepot, North Finchley, 020 8369 5454 artsdepot.co.uk ON SALE 30th SEPTEMBER

London

Saturday 22nd Bilston Town Hall, Bilston 01902 497222 ents24.com/bilston-events/bilston-town-hall

Sunday 23rd Foxlowe Arts Centre, Leek 01538 386112 foxloweartscentre.org.uk

Thursday 27th Cheltenham Town Hall, 01242 850270 cheltenhamfestivals.com

Cheltenham

Friday 28th The Stables, Milton Keynes 01908 280800 stables.org

Sunday 30th Theatr Clwyd, Mold 01352 344101 theatrclwyd.com

FEBRUARY

Saturday 5th Tobacco Factory, Bristol 0117 902 0060 tobaccofactory.com

Wednesday 9th Unity Theatre, Liverpool 0151 709 4988 unitytheatreliverpool.co.uk ON SALE SOON

Thursday 10th The Witham, Barnard Castle 01833 631107 thewitham.org.uk

Friday 11th Otley Courthouse, Otley 01943 467466 otleycourthouse.org.uk

Saturday 12th Pocklington Arts Centre, 01759 301 547 pocklingtonartscentre.co.uk

York

Wednesday 16th Electric Palace, Bridport 01308 424 901 electricpalace.org.uk

Thursday 17th Shanklin Theatre, Isle of 01983 868000 shanklintheatre.com

Wight

Friday 18th The Brewhouse Theatre & 01823 283 244 thebrewhouse.net

Arts Centre, Taunton

Saturday 19th The Watermark, Ivybridge 01752 892220 ivybridgewatermark.co.uk

Friday 25th The Hazlitt, Maidstone 01622 758611 parkwoodtheatres.co.uk/Hazlitt-Theatre

Saturday 26th The Corn Hall, Diss 01379 652241 thecornhall.co.uk

MARCH

Thursday 3rd The Astor Theatre, Deal 01304 370220 theastor.co.uk

Friday 4th The Hawth, Crawley 01293 553636 parkwoodtheatres.co.uk/The-Hawth

Saturday 5th The Lights, Andover 01264 368368 thelights.org.uk

MAY

Thursday 5th Wyeside Arts Centre, 01982 552555 wyeside.co.uk ON SALE SOON

Builth Wells

Friday 13th Loughborough Town Hall, 01509 231914 loughboroughtownhall.co.uk

Loughborough

Saturday 14th Lincoln Performing Arts 01522 837600 lpac.co.uk

Centre, Lincoln

Sunday 15th The Old Rep Theatre, 0121 359 9444 oldreptheatre.co.uk

Birmingham

Thursday 19th Tivoli Theatre, Wimborne 01202 885566 tivoliwimborne.co.uk

Friday 20th McMillan Theatre, Bridgwater 01278 556677 mcmillantheatre.com

Saturday 21st Tiverton Community Arts 07443 502523 tivertontheatre.com

Theatre

Sunday 22nd Pavilions Teignmouth, 01626 249049 pavilionsteignmouth.org.uk

Teignmouth

JUNE

Thursday 2nd Brewery Arts Centre, Kendal 01539 725133 breweryarts.co.uk

Friday 3rd The Atkinson, Southport 01704 533333 theatkinson.co.uk

Saturday 4th Derby Theatre, Derby 01332 593939 derbytheatre.co.uk

Saturday 5th City Varieties Music Hall, 0113 243 0808 leedsheritagetheatres.com/city-varieties-music-hall/

Leeds

Friday 10th The Kenton Theatre, 01491 525050 kentontheatre.co.uk

Henley-on-Thames

Saturday 11th Colchester Arts Centre, 01206 500900 colchesterartscentre.com

Colchester

Friday 24th Kettering Arts Centre, 01536 513858 ketteringartscentre.com

Kettering

Saturday 25th The Pyramid Arts Centre, 01925 442345 pyramid.culturewarrington.org

Warrington

JULY

Friday 15th Gloucester Guildhall, 01452 503050 gloucesterguildhall.co.uk

Gloucester

Saturday 16th Pontardawe Arts Centre, 01792 863722 npttheatres.co.uk/pontardawe/

Pontardawe

Sunday 17th Theatr Mwldan, Cardigan 01239 621200 mwldan.co.uk

Tuesday 19th Epsom Playhouse, Epsom 01372 742555 epsomplayhouse.co.uk

Thursday 21st The Place, Telford 01952 382 382 theplacetelford.com

Saturday 23rd Tivoli Theatre, Aberdeen 01224 592755 thetivolitheatre.com

Sunday 24th Theatre Royal Dumfries, 01387 254209 theatreroyaldumfries.co.uk

Dumfries

Saturday 30th The Point, Eastleigh 023 8065 2333 thepointeastleigh.co.uk

Sunday 31st The Corn Exchange, Exeter 01392 665938 exetercornexchange.co.uk