Simon Clothier’s ‘What Am I To Do’ strikes a chord with men supporting loved ones through cancer

Simon Clothier’s deeply personal single ‘What Am I To Do’ may have been released, but its story is only just beginning. Following an extraordinary response from listeners around the world, the West London singer-songwriter is now looking for radio support and further interviews to explore the song’s growing impact and particularly among men struggling to talk about the emotional reality of supporting someone through cancer.

Written after Clothier’s wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, ‘What Am I To Do’ captures the fear, helplessness and love that can come with being the person standing alongside someone through treatment.

Since its release, Clothier has received an outpouring of messages from people across the world who have recognised themselves in the song. Many have shared their own cancer journeys, while a particularly strong response has come from men who say the lyrics have expressed emotions they have found difficult to put into words.

“I’m hearing from men who have said, ‘You’ve just described exactly how I feel,’” says Clothier. “A lot of us aren’t very good at talking about what’s going on inside. We want to be strong, we want to support the person we love, and sometimes we don’t know where to put all the fear and emotion. I think that’s why the song has connected so strongly.”

That response has given ‘What Am I To Do’ a second life beyond its release – not simply as a song about cancer, but as a conversation about men, emotional health and the pressure to stay strong when someone you love is seriously ill.

The song was written in just 15 minutes in the aftermath of his wife’s diagnosis, although Clothier waited several years before he felt able to record it. Eventually, he took the song into London’s RAK Studios with producer Simon Allen. The result is an understated, emotionally direct recording that refuses to hide behind sentimentality. It is a song about the things people say, the things they don’t say, and what happens to the emotions that are left unspoken.

Clothier’s own unconventional story also adds to the intrigue. Once dubbed ‘The Singing Builder’ by ITV, he has spent much of his working life between music and construction, working on major projects including Wembley Stadium and the London 2012 Olympic builds. His music career has taken him from the UK to Hawaii, where he became the first European artist to perform at the Ukulele Festival of Hawaii, sharing a bill with Jack Johnson.

But with ‘What Am I To Do’, it is the human response that has become the story.

“I never expected people to open up to me in the way they have,” Clothier says. “They’re telling me about their wives, their partners, their families and what they went through. Some of them have said they cried when they heard it. If the song can make someone feel that they’re not the only one struggling with these feelings, then it has done something worthwhile.”

With the response continuing to build, Clothier is now looking to bring ‘What Am I To Do’ to a wider radio and interview audience – particularly stations and programmes interested in stories around music, mental health, men’s wellbeing, relationships and the often-unspoken experience of being a carer.

‘What Am I To Do’ is out now.